Moved to here. Happy Blogging.

Should I be held responsible for something i did not do? Life Sucks!

My brother died yesterday…

A part of me died with him.

He was shot in the head three times. One bullet after the other; in the exact same spot with pin point perfection. They said he was guilty.

But he was not guilty.

They said he tried to run.

But he had tried to break free.

They said that he was trying to step into someone else’s shoes. And that is such an awful thing to do.

He was always the one I had wanted to be in my life. But strangely I was never jealous of him. Peer pressure was never an issue. I used to admire him secretly. Like the things he did. The popularity he enjoyed in college. The value system that he had, it was so different from all others.

But like all others before him, like Abraham Lincoln, JFK and the ilk, there were people who hated him. Could not stand him, (they were) live examples of envy. He never was concerned by all this. Completely oblivious of the conspiracies that were being hatched around him. Just carrying on the work that he so believed in.

Yesterday was like any other day. He was off to meet the professors for some routine work, when he was stopped on the way and pushed to a dark corner. It was made to look like a robbery scene. That he resisted and was shot in the ensuing scuffle. And the witness was ready too. (I) wonder what morals do these people have? Willing to lie someone’s death for money. And the most surprising part is that she does not remember how many (so called) robbers were there. Maybe she is the girl friend of one of them. But what she does not know is what is in store for her.

I might be shot for speaking the truth too. But it does not matter now. Because, now I am not afraid. When you lose your acolyte, you lose everything along with him.

Come on muggers; come take a shot at me. Let’s see how much blood you got in your veins. I know that’s the only way my brother could get justice.

I don’t believe in the Indian system. It has far too many loopholes for people to get caught. And it is time for people like you and me to take action. Smoke them out and burn them. Wherever you can find them.

And I know my first victim. She might be innocent but she will become the symbol of vengeance tomorrow.

Wish the world could see it from my eyes.

Welcome Back..
The vagaries of life do not allow me to write as proficiently as i want to. But anyhow, i wanted to make a new beginning. And what other way to start off then with a song that i have been listening to on repeat mode form qutie some time now.
Move over rock and hip-hop, golden oldies Rock!!!

Aap ki nazron ne samjha pyaar ke kaabil mujhe
Dil ki ae dhadkan thaher jaa, mil gayi manzil mujhe
Aap ki nazron ne samjha

Ji hamein manzoor hai aap ka yeh faisla
Keh rahi hai har nazar banda parvar shukriya
Hanske apni zindagi mein kar liya shaamil mujhe

Dil ki ae dhadkan thaher jaa, mil gayi manzil mujhe
Aap ki nazron ne samjha
Aap ki manzil hoon main, meri manzil aap hai
Kyoon main toofaan se darroon, mera saahil aap hai

Koi toofaanon se keh de, mil gaya saahil mujhe
Dil ki ae dhadkan thaher jaa, mil gayi manzil mujhe
Aap ki nazron ne samjha
Pad gayi dil par mere aap ki parchhaaiyaan
Har taraf bajne lagi saenkdon shehnaaiyaan

Do jahaan ki aaj khushiyaan ho gayi haasil mujhe
Aap ki nazron ne samjha pyaar ke kaabil mujhe
Dil ki ae dhadkan thaher jaa, mil gayi manzil mujhe
Aap ki nazron ne samjha


Promise more later..
Adios.

After a hectic month, I was back home for a wonderful week. I was going through my old school books and happened to see my school-time slam book. Old memories visited me. As I was going through the candid entries of my school time friends, I came across the ‘what do you think about me’ part. Some of the entries were “A loving, honest and caring guy” “The best friend one can ever have” “Friendly, confident and happy-go-lucky” “…like your honesty. Can never forget the only time you made me cry” I hope you get the point. But who was the person they were talking about. At that instant I felt so distant, so different from this persona. Was it me they were talking about? Right now, these are not the words that can describe me. To hell with honesty. Not that I am dishonest but you can not call me honest either. Countless number of times. The times I have hurt people. Friendly. Only if you redefine the term. I may come across the most unfriendly, arrogant persona ever. Don’t know how many people I can still call even friends. Am not used to loving anyone except myself. Not anymore (if I did love someone at first place) Three years… that’s the time it has taken me to change this much. Can’t say why. Why have I made myself so inaccessible to people? My feelings, thoughts, emotions. I do not think that anyone can say they know the real me? Everything is deep inside me. Hidden underneath layers and layers. Waiting to be exposed. Maybe… As Eminem says “Will the real slim shady please stand up?” Why? There are no words or answers I can think of. There is still one thing. About the one person who might know me. Sometime I get the feeling even she is drifting away. Because of me. Do you know the greatest fear I have: It is me, myself.

We always try to take a peek into the lives of others... the way we think they should behave or putting in another perspective, how we want them to behave... sometimes the lines beteweeen reality and fiction... we all are curious of other people minds.. what they think about us... and sometimes do get affected by what those people say... willl continue this with another post...

Upset I am upset. I don’t know why. As such, there is no reason for me to feel this way. But here I am writing down this blog entry with my second mind wandering somewhere else. I tried to control it but to no avail. If you have read the book “Valkyries” by Paolo Coelho, perhaps you would know why. From the time the college has opened I am carrying this feeling. Life is not the same anymore. Somewhere in the transition from 2nd year to the 3rd year, something got lost. I am still trying to figure out what it is and where it is. It is like being in a state of trance with a fierce thought holding on to you. This feeling is so strong that I am completely overwhelmed with it. I don’t know what to do. And it is growing stronger by the day. I am completely at loss of words to explain it. I tried talking out of it but to no use. I tried conversing on the phone with my best friend but that did not help either. Maybe it is something that I have to handle myself, alone. What is it? I tried making a guess and here are some of the things I noted down. It might be any of these or a combination of more than one. Worse still it might be none of these. · My hidden feelings · Some skeleton in my closet. · Fear of admitting a mistake. · Insecurities. · Some wrong decision. · MBA preparation going haywire. · Not getting the kind of attention I want. · Humbling sense of insignificance. Help me to find out what is actually is.

Seven Course Being a Ten Pointer has its advantages too. (apart from the obvious disadvantages). Apart from the academics, one of the other benefits one gets to enjoy is the treat business. It is not very often that i get treated to a seven course dinner that too in a posh Five-star Hotel. The place was Manali and Dad had this surprise ready. It was really a sumptuous banquet. Every course was elaborately laid out. The first course was Gorgonzola Polentalemon-basil & sun-dried tomato butter sauce. And in the Second Course was Wild Mushroom Souprosemary with cream followed by Northwest Wild Greensgreen apples, goat cheese and raspberry vinaigrette. The Fourth Course was Lemon Sorbet with fresh mint. By the time the main course arrived i was wondering whether i will last through this or not. But the very sight of Chicken almond crusted with blueberries, peaches, & Grand Marinier laid to rest any doubts. The Sixth Course was Salmon de Provencehorseradish crust, with orange beurre blanc. And in desserts (i.e. the last course) there was chocolate ice-cream. By the time i had finished i really had no energy left even to go back to my place. Wish i had taken my camera....